There are several clichés that I’ve heard in the office (or out of the office), and a few of them have “jumped the shark.” My friend turned me on to this new saying, so I’m going to use it until it is no longer out of the box.

And that is my first example, by saying or referencing, “think outside the box,” you, in fact, are not, thinking outside the box. In fact I would say that you are thinking very inside the box, and that you should probably either stick to talking about what comes “out of the box,” or leave the whole box concept alone.

And next is my favorite trilemma, “Quick, Cheap, Good: Pick two.” Which always seems to be true, but, alas, is getting old and overused.

And so, I’m also going to introduce some of my own quotes for use in popular culture. Some I know I was the first to say, and some I must have heard somewhere else.

• When asked about what you think of a particular thing, respond with: How do I describe this without using the word, “suck.”
• When describing something that is slightly good, say it, “doesn’t suck.” Or, “slightly less sucky.”
• Basically, to create a nice sarcastic comment, take a good word like fantastic, fabulous or wow, and mix it with, suck, crap or bite me. Examples: Wow that is a suck. Bite my crap. Crap crap. Sucky bite crap and suck. Sucktastic crapulosity, craptastic. Bite me.

Wow, I think I offended myself with this post.

I went a little copy/paste happy, most of this is from Wikipedia, but munged:

In order for there to be knowledge, a statement must be justified, true, and believed, though not all that is both true and believed counts as knowledge. All justifications in pursuit of knowledge must justify the means of their justification, and in doing so they have to justify the means of their justification – an attempt to solve a problem which re-introduced the same problem in the proposed solution. The initial problem will recur infinitely and will never be solved.

Assuming that Jesus claimed to be the God, a result is one of three things must be true:

1. Lunatic: Jesus was not God, but he mistakenly believed that he was.
2. Liar: Jesus was not God, and he knew it, but he said so anyway.
3. Lord: Jesus was God.

Or, in software/project management: “Quick, Cheap, Good: Pick two”.

Or, “I wish God were alive to see this.” – Homer Simpson.

“The Babel fish,” said The Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy quietly, “is small, yellow and leech-like, and probably the oddest thing in the Universe. It feeds on brainwave energy not from its carrier but from those around it. It absorbs all unconscious mental frequencies from this brainwave energy to nourish itself with. It then excretes into the mind of its carrier a telepathic matrix formed by combining the conscious thought frequencies with nerve signals picked up from the speech centres of the brain which has supplied them. The practical upshot of all this is that if you stick a Babel fish in your ear you can instantly understand anything said to you in any form of language. The speech patterns you actually hear decode the brainwave matrix which has been fed into your mind by your Babel fish.”

Now it is such a bizarrely improbable coincidence that anything so mindboggingly useful could have evolved purely by chance that some thinkers have chosen to see it as the final and clinching proof of the non-existence of God.

The argument goes something like this: ‘I refuse to prove that I exist,’ says God, ‘for proof denies faith, and without faith I am nothing.’

‘But,’ says Man, ‘The Babel fish is a dead giveaway, isn’t it? It could not have evolved by chance. It proves you exist, and so therefore, by your own arguments, you don’t. QED.’

‘Oh dear,’ says God, ‘I hadn’t thought of that,’ and promptly vanished in a puff of logic.

The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy
-Douglas Adams

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Ok, now this may sound a bit odd, but ever since high school, I’ve been searching for the perfect set of silverware. I got some new silverware, pretty close to the ideals I’m looking for! But who says you have to settle on one set of silverware? Perhaps in 6 months or a year I’ll switch to another set. It’s more about the questing than the having.

Ok, so I thought it might be funny to mock my friend Tev’s post about his silverware, until I realized that he is a long-time silverware nut. His latest post is not the beginning. I found a post and picture from back in 2003. Should I laugh or be concerned? Hey, but who am I to talk?

Now, even better – when I was looking for a picture of my ideal plasticware I found this fantastic site!<sarcasm />:

Toiletpaperworld.com – and here is a quote: “Currently this site does not support Netscape or Firefox and works best with Internet Explorer 5.0 or higher versions.”