From Something About Mary:
Hitchhiker: You heard of this thing, the 8-Minute Abs?
Ted: Yeah, sure, 8-Minute Abs. Yeah, the excercise video.
Hitchhiker: Yeah, this is going to blow that right out of the water. Listen to this: 7… Minute… Abs.

My buddy Tev wrote this very informative post, which really shows his culinary expertise, about how to make a dessert in 30 seconds.

Well, I’m going to blow that right out of the water, so, I present, 29 second dessert:

Ingredients:

• Big metal spoon
• Bucket of ice cream
• Optional: whipped cream

Instructions:

1. Remove ice cream from freezer, take top off bucket and dispose of, you won’t be needing that again!
2. Find spoon that is large, but not larger than the maximum width of your mouth. Also, other utensils might work in a pinch, kind of depends on the viscosity of the ice cream - chop sticks might not work out so well if the ice cream is kind of liquidy. Even if its not, by the time you get to the bottom of the bucket you might be out of luck.
3. Eat
4. If you have elected to have whipped cream, spray a mouthful into your mouth between spoonfuls of ice cream. Always spray down (towards the ground), otherwise that’s called whippits - and that isn’t dessert.

Nutritional info:

Serving size: heh
Calories: bite me
Fat: yes
Fiber: …

Weight Watchers Points: if you are calculating points you shouldn’t be reading this.

It’s Sarcastic Wednesday! ecard from Hallmark Ecards

More Hoops and Yoyo

My son woke me up several times last night. Around 6:30 this morning he just wouldn’t go back to sleep, so I got up to make him some breakfast. Before I could have my morning tea he decided that he needed to tell me a few things. I set up the recorder so that I could share my caffeine-less conversation with my 2 year old(s). He did most of the talking.

We had a fantastic President’s day weekend - definitely nice to have that extra day. On Saturday we went to our church’s pot-luck, on Sunday was church and naps, and on Monday we went roller skating with Rachel and the kids. All of the kids started off pretty shaky, but by the end they were doing amazingly well. Especially my son, who ended up falling asleep on his Aunt even with all the crowd noise and loud music.

‘Skunk’ issues apology to Brazilians, retires from Marlborough TV, wrestling - The MetroWest Daily News

It seems that everyone is jumping on the marketing campaign from Turner Broadcasting that had Boston locked up on Wednesday, with suspicious devices planted throughout the city. They ended up being electronic signs displaying a “mooninite” from the cartoon network series, “Aqua Teen Hunger Force,” and not a bomb threat or even a hoax. Turned has apologized, and is taking financial responsibility for the work incurred around handling the mumbo jumbo. It turns out that their marketing scheme didn’t work as intended, it is working much much better! I just want everyone to know that I won’t discuss this here, as I don’t want to be just another blogger to jump on the bandwagon (Carl?) <sarcasm />. I won’t even discuss the hair style press conference of the suspects Sean Stevens and Peter Berdovsky. Okay, just one more link: ‘Aqua Teen’ leads geek-chic TV.

What I do want to discuss are these huge animals! My friend Brent finds the weirdest stuff. First he found this bear sized catfish on National Geographic, then he points me over to Hogzilla.

The catfish was caught in Thailand back in May, was around nine feet long, and weighed over 600 pounds. This may be the largest freshwater fish ever recorded. National Geographic reports, “Despite efforts to keep the bear-size catfish alive, it died and was later eaten by villagers.”

The 12 foot long, 1,000 pound, 9 inch tusked hog killed in Georgia in 2003 may not even be real. It could be just another photoshoped animal like this giant cat, or this newer giant cat.

So, does any of this have to do with a broken broom? Well, the giant pig got me thinking of Ben’s Pig Band. So, I thought I would just mention that I recently re-read “Fox in Socks” to my kids. It is my favorite Dr. Seuss book.

Bim comes.
Ben comes.
Bim brings Ben’s broom.
Ben brings Bim’s broom.

Ben bends Bim’s broom.
Bim bends Ben’s broom.
Bim’s bends.
Ben’s bends.
Ben’s bent broom breaks.
Bim’s bent broom breaks.

Ben’s band. Bim’s band.
Big bands. Pig bands.

Bim and Ben lead bands with brooms.
Ben’s band bangs and Bim’s band booms.

Pig band! Boom band!
Big band! Broom band!