From Something About Mary:
Hitchhiker: You heard of this thing, the 8-Minute Abs?
Ted: Yeah, sure, 8-Minute Abs. Yeah, the excercise video.
Hitchhiker: Yeah, this is going to blow that right out of the water. Listen to this: 7… Minute… Abs.

My buddy Tev wrote this very informative post, which really shows his culinary expertise, about how to make a dessert in 30 seconds.

Well, I’m going to blow that right out of the water, so, I present, 29 second dessert:

Ingredients:

• Big metal spoon
• Bucket of ice cream
• Optional: whipped cream

Instructions:

1. Remove ice cream from freezer, take top off bucket and dispose of, you won’t be needing that again!
2. Find spoon that is large, but not larger than the maximum width of your mouth. Also, other utensils might work in a pinch, kind of depends on the viscosity of the ice cream - chop sticks might not work out so well if the ice cream is kind of liquidy. Even if its not, by the time you get to the bottom of the bucket you might be out of luck.
3. Eat
4. If you have elected to have whipped cream, spray a mouthful into your mouth between spoonfuls of ice cream. Always spray down (towards the ground), otherwise that’s called whippits - and that isn’t dessert.

Nutritional info:

Serving size: heh
Calories: bite me
Fat: yes
Fiber: …

Weight Watchers Points: if you are calculating points you shouldn’t be reading this.

We cleaned out some of the funky stuff from our fridge the day before yesterday, so when I got home from work yesterday there wasn’t much to eat. In desperation I opened the freezer, something caught my eye, I announced to the family, “How about Spankatopia?”

We bought this delicious frozen Spanakopita at Trader Joe’s, and it is normally considered an appetizer. But, we cooked it up in the oven along with some soup and made a meal of it.

Wikipedia: Spanakopita

Observer: Hudson losing more than a cafe - The MetroWest Daily News

From what I’ve heard, the harvest cafe is moving out due to a tremendous rent increase from the building’s new owners - perhaps they want to kick everyone out so they can renovate, make condos and make Hudson into a nice quaint<sarcasm /> condo city. However, rumor has it that the Harvest Cafe is buying a building around the corner (near the McDonalds) and will be re-opening hopefully soon.

One of the first things I learned on weight watchers was how their point system works, and how to calculate points in my head without the “slider.” Their formula is “top secret” - although you can find it everywhere. Here it is on Wikipedia.

Their formula is:
Calories / 50 + Fat / 12 - Fiber / 5 (where Fiber is no more than 4)

My formula changes the fat divisor to 10, and the fiber limit to 5 - making it easy to remember and calculate in your head.

Example product:
Nature Valley Chewy Trail Mix Fruit & Nut Bar
140 Calories
4g Fat
1g Fiber

So, here it is:

• Take the calories, move the decimal point over by two, then multiply by two. 140 calories, move the decimal point to become 1.4, multiply by two to come up with 2.8.
• Take the fat, move the decimal point over by one. 4g fat, becomes .4. Add that to the calories = 3.2
• Take the fiber, move the decimal point over by one, multiply by two. 1g fiber, move the decimal becomes .1, multiple = .2. Subtract that from total = 3.

My calculation, done in head = 3 points.
WW calculation = 2.933, round up to 3.

Yay.

Nothing start off the day like a nice bowl of oatmeal with beans. I know many of you are asking, “so what is he eating on the cleansing spree, and what is that smell? He says no coffee, no chocolate, no beers or wines, and reduced calorie intake? What does all this mean?”

Well, first off - I am making an exception to the chocolate rule, I am allowing myself chocolate flavored tea, chocolate flavored fat free yogurt and of course chocolate ice cream. However, another piece I may have missed is that I am eliminating soda, with the exception of maybe some bubbly water. Also, I’m staying away (as I usually try to do) from artificial sweeteners.

Okay, here is an example of my daily menu:

• Breakfast, 7:30am: Start with a tall glass of water, about a cup and a half. Then a bowl of instant plain oatmeal - 1/2 cup of oatmeal, 1/2 cup of skim milk. Mix with that 1/2 cup of some sort of bean, dark red kidney, light red kidney, white kidney, pinto, black, etc. Top with a heaping teaspoon of ground flax seed and microwave for a minute. On the side I’ll have another 1/2 cup of skim milk and a cup of green tea, unsweetened. Finish it all off with another cup and a half of water.
• Second Breakfast, 9:30am: More water, another 3 cups before lunch. Also, another cup of tea. I have been drinking green tea, but am starting to switch to something completely decaf (Trader Joe’s Chocolate Tea, made with decaf black tea leaves - still a little intsy bitsy bit of caffeine). For snack I have an apple.
• Lunch, 12pm: More water, another 3 cups. I’ve been having a half turkey sandwich for lunch these days. Two slices of whole wheat bread, two slices of deli turkey, slice and a half of cheese (american, cheddar, swiss, etc.) lettuce, mustard, cut in half. On the side I’ll have a Stonyfield Farms fat free yogurt, any flavor, and some baby carrots.
• Afternoon snack, 3pm: More water, another 3 cups. Green tea (I’m dying without a little caffeine in the afternoon). For snack I have a banana.
• Dinner, 6pm: More water, cup and a half before, and another after. I’ll start of with a cup of low-fat low-sodium chicken broth, with a 1/2 cup of beans. Then, 3oz. of grilled marinated chicken breast, 4 jalapeno stuffed olives, about a cup of fresh steamed green beans, about a half cup of brown rice, lettuce/greens salad, no dressing and grape tomatoes.
• Dessert, 10pm: More water, at least a cup and a half. Cup of tea, something decaf. The main kicker: 1/2 cup of Edy’s slow churned ice cream, current favorite is chocolate brownie. Have a banana or apple on the side. I froze a banana last night, might try that!

That’s it folks. When I’m done eating I brush my teeth, and that’s it. The end. No straying, stay focused.